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heathwhit

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Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #1 
I really feel very depressed today had this bladder problem now for eighteen months after a uti , seemed tto be allergic to abs hate taking them, always worse after bowel movement, wanting yo wee every hslf hour, no bladder pain always urethael area tests always say no bacteria i have also had a small spine ftacture which isn't much fun and people wondet why i suffer amxiety, i am on my seventies and think this will all kill me.Fed up.0m
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H.M Whitworth
Moderatorsusan

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Reply with quote  #2 
Ok I would suggest going to your GP and asking if you could be referred for some counselling with someone who can help with dealing with illness issues and can help you talk about this. Obviously the BHUK advice line is always open so you can call them each week day but you may benefit from seeing someone professionally to talk this through so that you can cope with the awful anxiety that you feel. All of us have gone through this feeling of despair and for some it has hugely helped to talk it through with a counsellor and develop coping strategies. They obviously cannot suggest medical ways of dealing with the spinal fracture or bladder but they can certainly help with the emotional burden.

As you have a small spinal fracture has any investigation taken place as to whether the nerves in the pelvic floor have been affected which is why you feel this desperate need to urinate and the pain shortly after opening your bowels? Again talk to your GP about a referral to a specialist unit that can look in more detail at the effect of the fracture on the pelvic floor.
Moderator_Jen

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Reply with quote  #3 
I'm so sorry you are suffering so much. Please don't be hard on yourself, bladder conditions are so incredibly difficult to live with and it sometimes it can makes us all feel isolated and alone.

There is usually somebody around on the forums if you need to vent and let your frustrations out.

I completely echo Susan's excellent advice about speaking with your GP. Perhaps a referral to your local pain management team might be helpful too? I've been under my local pain management team for 6 years and it was a definite positive turning point for me. They have helped me enormously and within the pain teams there are excellent and very understanding professionals who know how difficult pain management is and are able to support you to control your pain rather than the pain control you.

They usually have psychologists and therapists that really understand the difficulties of living with chronic pain and are able to offer a range of very effective pain management techniques and strategies.

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Special interest in supporting those with Interstital Cystitis, Fowlers Syndrome and those who have bladder issues in Kent.

Please support Bladder Health UK by become a Bladder Health UK member  - click here for more details: http://bladderhealthuk.org/membership
heathwhit

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Reply with quote  #4 
Thank you Jen, i have managed to get some councelling starting this Thursday so hopefully i can get help coping with my present situation, just wish i was a stronger person and not always thinking the worst, but as you know our problem is not an easy one to cope with we are so lucky having bladder health for support.regards Heather.
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H.M Whitworth
Moderator_Jen

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Reply with quote  #5 
Heather, please don't be so hard with yourself, I think you are a very strong person and need to give yourself more credit. It takes a lot of strength to even admit you are struggling and a whole lot more to ask for it.

Chronic pain is exhausting and so impactive upon every aspect of a person's life and its very natural to feel depressed and negative when the pain flares even more than it usually does. It's ok to cry, shout and scream and ask/wonder "why me?" and "what did I ever to do to deserve this?" It a healthy and perfectly rational reaction. The fact you are doing these things shows you are in control and listening to your body and doing what you need to get through each day.

I often have times when I think I can't do this anymore and that I'm weak and useless. I remember speaking with my Dr and telling him that I felt guilty that I wasn't a better person and was weak for not coping better. He starred at me and told me to shut up (in a very nice way I hasten to add!) He reminded me that a person with chronic pain and medical conditions battles everyday just to get out of bed and it's a victory when we do. He said that by placing unreasonable expectations on myself I was feeding into my feelings/self belief that I was worthless and weak. He made me look in a mirror and point out the positives - I did a goldfish impression for several moments and replied "well, the mirror is very clean!" He responded with a sigh and a lot of eye rolling!

He then proceeded to tell me what he saw - and he was very complimentary. He told me that is what the world sees and when I feel negative about myself and my situation then I was to remember his words. He also said that I never judge others as harshly as I was judging myself, so why would I apply a different set of rules to myself than I do to the rest of the world? He said that I needed to treat myself with the same respect, care and kindness that I show others and remember to set myself small and achievable goals and expectations. Before I think something negative about myself, would I think this of another person in my situation and if the answer is no then I shouldn't be thinking it about myself.

I think I've probably waffled a lot in this post and probably got a bit off topic (I've been stuck in a hospital waiting room for the past hour waiting to see an emergency Dr as my GP thinks I have an infection that needs urgent treatment again) but what I'm hoping I've portrayed is that you are a lot stronger and positive than you think and you can get through this.

If you ever want to chat then please PM your number and I'll give you a call. Alternatively every Wednesday BHUK have a qualified Bladder nurse answering the helpline and it might be worth chatting with her about different strategies and approaches you could try when things are flaring or for everyday self management.

Good luck for Thursday with the counsellor xx


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Bladder Health U.K. Forum Message Board Moderator.
Kent Support Group Co-Ordinator
Special interest in supporting those with Interstital Cystitis, Fowlers Syndrome and those who have bladder issues in Kent.

Please support Bladder Health UK by become a Bladder Health UK member  - click here for more details: http://bladderhealthuk.org/membership
heathwhit

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Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #6 
Bless you Jen hope ypu get sorted at the hospital.x
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H.M Whitworth
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