Registered: 1515679688 Posts: 9
Reply with quote #1
Something that is easily overlooked by GPs, urologists and other professionals is the emotional impact that having bladder problems have.
Although I have had depression for many years I had managed to keep it reasonably under control. Sure, I had bad periods where I struggled, but generally I could function pretty well day to day. Since getting this awful illness my life has changed dramatically for the worse.
I now have more bad days than good where my mood is at the lowest it has ever been.In fact it reached the absolute depths a few months ago so much so that I attempted suicide (I tried to hang myself..the door hook broke and I ended up in a pitiful sobbing heap on the floor with a slobbering German Sheperd madly licking my face....the one time my terrible DIY skills have been a blessing I suppose) as I couldnt cope with the relentless discomfort anymore. My support "network" got me through that period but every now and then I still think it's the only way this will ever stop.
I find it hard to socialise and the times when I do are limited to attending a depression group , meeting my support worker,going to see my counsellor and those times when my best friend (also my ex partner but that's another tale in itself) comes over and encourages me to go out with her for a few hours. The rest of the time I spend at home. I'm physically worn out from coping and feel "ground down" by it.I find myself getting tearful and/or becoming irritable at the drop of a hat. Christmas was a particularly difficult time. Everywhere I looked all I could see were people happily shopping or going out enjoying themselves. It made me feel so isolated and alone. Things were made unbearable when I found out my closest friend and companion Nelly my rescue German Shepherd had to have a major operation on the 27th December for bladder stones of all things (oh the irony!!!).She is well and swiftly getting back to her old bonkers self!
I try my damned hardest to get through every day but it's a real fight.I always use the word relentless when describing how it feels to have this problem/illness as that is what it is.It never gives much respite and what may have been doable yesterday could well be impossible tomorrow...it all depends on my bladder. The one constant relief I get is walking Nell. Maybe it's because Im distracted more than at any other time or it may be that being out in the fresh air is doing some good but I look forward to those walks (and I'm lucky because she loves going out so we do so at least twice a day).
I'm slowly trying to do more "stuff". I'm playing more board games in the evenings rather than watching garbage on youtube to pass the time. I'm trying to read more which I couldn't do for months as I couldn't concentrate and I'm monitoring my fluid intake and output because it's something practical I can do that gives me the feeling I have a modicum of control.
It tough and its a struggle because this awful condition is so much more than just the physical symptoms. The emotional impact can be just as devastating.I just wish this was taken into account by those professionals we turn to for help.
Anyway if you got this far without falling asleep thanks for reading my moan of the day!
All the best.
Registered: 1323861157 Posts: 1,760
Reply with quote #2
Am so sorry to read of your ongoing health issues, and so pleased that 'Nell' is recovering well, as you say the 'irony'. Sadly are Bladders know , No boundaries. Couple of suggestions. Have you joined BHUK? they will not only send you Welcome pack full of useful info but also a quartley magazine, you will have access to so much more. Do ask them if there is a support Group near you, or even a support Friend, that you could speak with via the telephone. You could also speak with our Resident Continence Nurse on a Wednesday. However do keep posting , as we will ALWAYS listen, and completely understand how debilitating, lonely and upsetting, all the different symptoms we experience with this dreadful dis-ease. Kindest regards Kate __________________
Verified BHUK Member
Registered: 1405586965 Posts: 50
Reply with quote #3
How thoroughly miserable for you! You do have my sympathy. I have had problems with UTIs for many years and after long term antibiotic therapy I am now managing on Hiprex which is an antiseptic rather than antibiotic, and this has been working well for me for over a year now. I have the impression that your problem is more one of over active bladder, dreadful condition. How can you live a normal life when your bladder is calling you to the loo all the time? Good to hear you have a lovely German Shepherd to keep you sane. If you join BHUK you will find lots of sympathy and support, and hopefully treatments to help you cope. Some urologists seem to be remarkably limited in what they will do to help - I think they look at the bladder and not the rest of the person attached to it! Good luck!
Registered: 1508323956 Posts: 38
Reply with quote #4
Hi Andy..I can totally relate to what you have written I'm feeling the same..I am getting more depressed every day because I can't see this getting any better
I don't have much hope left after recently seeing the urologist he has only offered me Amitriptyline which I've already tried and cannot take because of the side effects I'm already on Tramadol for something else but it gives no relief to the bladder pain I have
I also try and escape from it all by walking my dogs too and it does help even though I'm in pain..
just wanted you to know your not alone in feeling this way.. take care x
Registered: 1508592721 Posts: 25
Reply with quote #5
I can totally relate to you about the impact of how much the emotional health has suffered through having bladder problems.
I do have a lot of bad days where I struggle to get out and the isolation feelings that come with this is so debilitating. If it wasn't for my faithful friend my golden retriever magicmurphy I would feel there's no point to carry on my existence.
Taking my dear dog friend for a gentle slow walk everyday in our local woodland park has greatly help my emotional health, I feel I look forward to it. As long as my bladder allows me to get out I will continue.
Just know Andy you're not alone and if you ever need a chat you can pm me anytime. We really do understand how you're feeling.
Registered: 1515679688 Posts: 9
Reply with quote #6
Wow! Thank you for all your replies they are greatly appreciated.
It seems that for a lot of us our doggie best buddies are what keep us going through each day. Nellie is going to start doggie playgroup on Thursday, one morning a week where she can run around like a nutter with loads of other dogs where there is a ball pool, trampoline and lots of other fun stuff for her to do.Its kind of my thank you to her from me for all the loyalty and love she shows me every day.
I've just started a course on living with chronic illness which my support worker thought may help so we will see how that turns out.
Both my support worker and my counsellor are encouraging me to be more selfish and say what I want and what I need.
All the best.